Chapter 3...recovery

Going through cancer is like reading a book filled with drama and suspense. You discover new twists and turns to the plot, with each turning page.   You never know what the end of the story is until you finish reading the book.  

There are many similarities that my journey with cancer has to a book.   I have learned to take news as it comes to me.  Sure there is much anticipation and anxiety that comes during the waiting period and I would love nothing more than to flip through the pages faster to reach the end of the story.  Unfortunately, the discovery and details of one’s cancer case, works at a pace which is out of our control.  

There are moments of finding out news, then putting a plan together to discover more new information.  That information is then looked at and discussed while you wait for the next plan of action.  My discovering and being diagnosed with breast cancer was the first chapter of my journey.  The second chapter was going through the discovery phase of learning more about the cancer and putting a plan into place to eliminate the cancer.  I am now in chapter 3…I have gone through the elimination stage.  I had a bi-lateral mastectomy on Friday March 1st.   The nerves were high the day of surgery, but when you wake up after surgery and realize you survived it, there is a different feeling that overcomes you…what’s next? 

After surgery, I was wheeled into recovery where I spent two hours being monitored by nurses.  It was then that I looked down and saw four grenade shaped tubes taped across my stomach.  These are drains that run through my chest and out through my ribs.  They are there to eliminate any potential infections.  When I came out of recovery and was wheeled in my room, I could not catch my breath.  It felt like someone was sitting on my chest, suffocating me.  I began to panic and wanted every blanket off, my socks off and for someone to sit me straight up.  While all that was in motion, the nurse quickly hooked me up to oxygen and sent me into a deep sleep with narcotics.   It was the most awful feeling to not be able to catch my breath.  That has passed and my breathing is back to normal. I checked out of the hospital on Saturday afternoon.  They removed my catheter, my IV and I was able to get and keep food down.  I was relieved to go home because you really don’t get much sleep in a hospital. There are multiple nurses checking on you throughout the nite, noises in the hallways, doors slamming and the general sounds of a hospital in motion.   I arrived at home Saturday afternoon feeling very groggy.   I woke up around 3am on Sat evening and noticed there was blood dripping down my ribs onto my bedding.   I woke up my mom and my cousin and we headed over to ER to get checked out.  Having a little bit of blood leak out of the tubes is normal.   Whew!

Sunday evening before I was heading to bed, my hands stroked my chest and I felt several pea size lumps.  I was immediately alarmed by this and back on the phone with the doctor.  The lumps we are seeing and feeling are the tubes that snake their way through my chest into my drains.  It gives me the willies to touch them or think of what it will feel like when they remove them.  Thankfully, it’s nothing serious.  Another Whew moment!

I’ve been resting a lot and have had a lot care from family and friends.  Friends are bringing us dinner every nite, which has been extremely helpful to everyone.  My days are spent exercising my lungs with a nebulizer to prevent a lung infection, assisting with draining my drains, sleeping and eating.   I am easily exhausted and discovered my cousin is stronger than me now…I can’t open my medication bottles because I’m too weak!  She is feeling very victorious over this and I’m happy to give her a pat on the back for being able to hold my water for me when I drink amongst other things.  Overall, the recovery has been smooth. 

The beginning of chapter four started today.  I received a call from my Oncologist with a few of my path reports.  We can celebrate that the cancer did not find its way into my lymph nodes!!!!  The tumor was much larger than they expected, therefore additional tests are being performed.   When they first staged my cancer at the point of diagnosis, it was a stage one.  As I said, much is discovered after they open you up and get ahold of the cancer.   The stage is now between a 2 and a 3.  We are still waiting for more information.  We are in the part of chapter 4 where there is a lot of suspense and anticipation.  There are questions about the margins.  The tumor was very close to my skin and there is a possibility that there are microscopic cells left over.  If that is the case, I will go back into surgery to have the tissue expanders removed so I can begin radiation.  Tissue expanders typically do not survive radiation and lead to other health problems.  I’m asking that you pray this test comes back negative.  They will have the results back in 2-3 days.

They are running another test to tell us how fast the tumor is growing and if it can benefit from chemotherapy.   I will get the results back from this test in 10-14 days.

The story continues and we have not reached the end of the book.  There are two things that are keeping us on the edge of our seats at this very moment.   I am taking deep breaths and taking each page in one by one. 

Just breathe!

PS.  I am on some strong pain meds, which may be obvious when you read this update.  My apologies for any typos, incomplete sentences and poor grammer :-)